|||||Emily - Stephen Fretwell||]|
wow, look, it's 2am. and qhat a surprise, i'm not alseep!
uni started back on monday, i am, truthfully, looking forward to this year more than i was last. guess this has something to do with the fact that most of the modules i've chosen are actually interesting, to me.
alice has a placement sorted out in london, she makes me so so jealous (i know, before you shout at me alice!), such energy, or passion, commitment to doing what she wants to do. i envy that, truly. danielle is unwell again, and i'm useless and keep not writing to her, wish i could be more help than the occasional text message, but she's beaten worse than this before, so I trust she's going to be fine. oh, and a couple of weeks ago I felt guilty at the amount of people I'd fallen out of touch with, so I sent lots of emails out to people. got a couple of replies (ha, how popular am i?!) but one was a really important one. one i never actually expected to receive. so I was stupidly optimistic, and of course, as always, that's got somewhat dashed. gym's not going as well as I hoped it would, surprise!been swimming a couple of times, subjecting my belly to the world, but I really enjoyed it, more than the actual gym. although I can't stop going the gym, because I need to work on bits that swimming doesn't reach (no flexible head)
usual things are still difficult, strained, annoying. finally got my pay rise couple weeks ago (only 12 montsh late) and then swiftly got a company pay-rise too, so that's incredibly useful (especially considering that I have £140 left from my loan after paying my fees...shiiiiiit)
um, my brain is still being incredibly annoying, second-guessing and sabotaging as often as possible. making things difficult. oh, and (change of song) my new favourite cheese-music that I shouldn't like but really do is kelly clarkson (yes, THAT kelly clarkson) but I uphold the video for 'behind these hazel eyes is a work of absolute crazed genius (replaced tart simpson and xmen3 director's(sob, there goes the franchise) shambles of a murdered 'these boots' video....shaky-breast-wet-car-washing-bikini-action anybody?...as the best work of a loon on music tv at the moment. oh, just watch it here .
i am going to try and sleep now. overdose on the lavender (thank you jamie!) and lull myself into a false sense of togetherness. or stare at the ceiling for a few more hours. again!